is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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