the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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