sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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