Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We just shotgunned beers for America
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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