I am midnight drunk by noon
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My bed smells like the plague
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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