Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
