His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
