i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
