The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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