No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
