We're facebook friends in real life
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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