We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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