he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
