hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
the night ended with taco bell and tears
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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