i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
