this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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