It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
