the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
