That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
