I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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