does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
