no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
