dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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