I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
