Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
