sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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