Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
