i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
