i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
