FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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