He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
