I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
