Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
