Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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