Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Randomize
