I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
