I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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