Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
time to smoke my breakfast
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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