Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
