1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
