party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You are the jesus of drinking
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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