I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
This is the prime rib incident all over again
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
