Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
