His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Randomize
