just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm getting married
To pizza
You are the jesus of drinking
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
