Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
