he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
