Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
