i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
