She's JV to your varsity
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
