I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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