so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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