I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
