So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
